Gun Control

Gun control has been the topic of not just the last few days but for as long as Cory and I have been together we have had to have a conversation about it.  This post will probably make several people mad but it is something that has been talked about so often from very extreme points of view that no matter what happens someone is upset about this.
First let me say that no one has the right to shoot another person.  There are circumstances where I understand it is necessary; however, to shoot innocent people is not acceptable.  I do not understand what kind of pain or hopelessness it takes to make a decision to go in to a public place and shoot innocent people, but instead of blaming guns let's help the families who suffer with mental illness.  Mental illness includes depression, anxiety, OCD, and a variety of other diseases.  I have suffered through depression and anxiety since I was a child so I know how hopeless life can feel at times.  I take medication and will probably be on it the rest of my life, not because I am not "trusting God enough" but because there is a chemical imbalance in my brain that literally makes it harder for me to be happy.  If we as a society spent more time providing help instead of condemnation toward people with mental illness we could probably avoid more shootings. 
In addition we have multiple guns in our house including rifles.  For those of you who are claiming there should be stricter gun controls I always wonder if you know the process in which to obtain a gun the legal way.  In California when you buy a gun typically you go through a test of how to properly keep a gun locked, and how to properly use a gun.  Then after purchase you must get finger printed and there is a 10 day waiting period while they run a background check.  After the 10 days you are able to pick up the gun.  They do not issue guns to just anyone and everyone.
In light of these shooting we have made a rule in our house that while we will teach our future kids about gun safety the handguns will be kept in a fingerprint safe so that only Cory and I can access the guns.  Also for rifles will be kept in a safe that only Cory and I will know the code to so our kids will not have access to our guns (even as adults) without our permission. 
Gun safety begins at home.  In America we continually push responsibility off to another person we need to stop the cycle and start taking responsibility for ourselves and demonstrating that there are consequences to our actions.  We should be training kids with the knowledge of how to become a responsible adult along with helping them be able to ask for help when they are struggling.
This is a tough topic and while my heart breaks for the families and children who are dealing with all of the incredible losses that have happened this week.  I am really in prayer for the families of the shooters.  They will continue to feel responsible probably for years to come for not stopping it or not seeing the signs sooner.  In response let us hug our loved ones closer, let us pray for those who do not know Jesus and that he can be seen in the midst of this tragedy, and let us know the signs of mental illness and help those who need help as they will most likely be dealing with this on and off their entire life.

Family

Lately I have been thinking a lot about family. As most of you know I do not come from a "traditional" family dynamic. But in my opinion it is so much better. My family are the people we choose to love no matter what happens. This is so relevant to our family because while Tyler and I are blood related we have two siblings that are technically "step" siblings. And Brian and Alyse have become so much more than that. Jerry has become much more than a "step" father. Words cannot express the gratitude that I get to be so blessed to have these siblings. There is another part of our family that cannot be ignored either. My sibling-in-laws. Our family is definitely unique, because we have already adjusted to a larger family and loving each one individually, so I feel we have been able to open our arms to each new member of the family that has been added through out these 7 years. Did I mention my sibling-in-laws are fantastic! Cory and I get the awesome privilege of being able to hang out with Brian and Jennifer and their kids as often as our schedules can work out. We have had many in depth conversations with them about marriage and life and they have been wonderful to put up with us coming over and eating their food and being able to watch my nieces grow up. I love going home because I get to see my other siblings, and while I know that if Cory and I eventually move up there we will not see them everyday I hope that we will still hang out a lot because my favorite moments are with my family. For example having Tabatha, Alyse and I all go in to the same dressing rooms at the outlets to try clothes on, or cheering each other on as we each are at different points in our lives. Honestly the times that I feel whole are when I am with my family. And while Cory is an only child, I can tell he is continually amazed how nice it is to have these people be so much more than just friends.



I have been thinking about this because Cory and I are going to be starting the first phase of our family when we get married in October, and family is important to both of us. This is a new journey for us and I pray that we can build our family up in the same way we were brought us, with valves and morals, and most importantly God at the center. I truely feel that because we have families that believe in God we have fantastic examples set of how our family is supposed to look like. While I am truly excited to marry Cory we are experiencing some troubles (I need a car, he needs a job, we need to find a place to live, etc.) and we are embarking on this new phase of life I feel like this song can almost always bring me to tears as I am reminded that God is not shaken by these things. And I wanted to remind my siblings of this because while we are all going through different phases in our life it doesn't make us any more certain of how things will play out. But God is not shaken. So...Johnsons, Colsons, and Rostamizadehs download this song if you do not already have it.

A post about all things Wedding

Cory and I are getting married in less than 7 months! We have already been engaged for 4 months. So I thought it was time for a post about all of our wedding plans. Our theme is Black and White Polka Dots. It has been a lot of fun figuring out what exactly we want (especially since we both agree on most things). We are going to get married in his uncle's backyard which when described I was told that it is more of a private estate, and on the off chance it rains Cory's dad reserved the church building just in case. (The church runs a basketball league in the fall so the entire league is taking a break that Saturday because of our wedding. We feel very special)

We feel very blessed by all of the help that Cory's mom has done for us. Since she is currently unemployed she has been devoting a large amount of her time checking prices and putting together things for the wedding. So far she has about half of our invitations done, most of our favors done, and she designed our save the dates. She has also used the dining room table as an example of what our tables will be set up like. With her help I have been able to feel pretty relaxed about the entire thing. I feel like she will have everything done perfectly. People have often asked if I feel like it is a bad thing that she is helping out so much. Truthfully she has been a dream about the whole thing. It has helped develop our relationship even more than it was before because we are spending more time talking and being together because of wedding stuff. Plus her taste is fantastic. The best thing about it is that she does NOT take offense if I tell her no. She understands that it is Our wedding and she doesn't want to over-step.

Cory and I have sent in our deposits for the photographer http://www.heavenlyportraits.com/

and for our caterer http://tgiscatering.com/

and for my dress (Sorry no pictures up because Cory could see them).

But my mom is down to visit and we plan on doing lots of wedding stuff including something I am looking forward to very much...meeting with the baker. We are going on Thursday to meet with her and try out several flavors.

In other news my new niece Kinley is so adorable and she is already 8 weeks old and I think she is adorable! (does any one else think she looks like Alyse as a baby in this picture?)

Kinley does relate to the wedding because my beautiful nieces are my flower girls.

Holly and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I remember very well that in my childhood I used to read the book Alexander and Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It would make me laugh and understand that some days are going to be bad. For me yesterday was one of those days. It wasn't the worst day I've ever had and I have the coping skills to be able to deal with what happened but it was one of those days that after about 6pm my response was "Seriously?!"

It began on Monday when the building I work in started the tar process for reroofing the building I work in. The fumes began building in my office making me light-headed and gave me a headache. This continued until yesterday so needless to say I had a pretty severe migrane going on yesterday. So I headed in late, but on my way to work my car started to make an interesting noise. So I took it to the mechanic who is in the same complex as us. He came back and told me that he give me about 5 miles until the engine seizes completely and my car is no longer drivable. Fantastic! (I do have insurance money coming my way, and while it is not the best timing I can be at ease with that.) So Cory was awesome and drove down to my work to drive my car home for me and I was driving his truck. Well when we were maybe a mile from my house some guy made a left hand turn when he was supposed to yield. This lead to Cory's first car accident with anyone while he was driving my car. Seriously?!

All in all a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

2009 In Review

2009 was more than eventful for both Cory and I so here is our year in review


January: I was adjusting to being back from cruising life and being away from most of my family again. Cory began his final semester for his undergraduate degree.

February: Cory got the chicken pox and was exiled from almost everywhere except for my house. Cory began growing a beard (mostly because of the chicken pox). I had more testing to figure out what was wrong with my stomach.

March: I began interviewing for a ministry job (that I would not end up getting)

April: My birthday! Began planning on coming to Oregon in July.

May: Cory's Birthday on the day he graduated from Hope! My parents flew in a surprised both of us on his graduation!

June: Cory moved out of his apartment and back home (until we get married). Started a medication for my stomach which has completely helped me feel like a normal person again. Looking in to Grad School. Cory's grandma died.

July: Went to Havasu. Went to Oregon! Cory asked permission to marry me.

August: Cory's grandpa died. Got a Lipoma removed and found 3 more. Had to take a hiatus from counseling until our counselor gets hired somewhere else.

September: Got in to a car accident on the freeway. We began volunteering at a youth group for the Canyon Hills Friends Church. Football begins!

October: Started attending a small group with an amazing group of girls. Watch Oregon beat USC!!!!

November: GOT ENGAGED!!!!!!! My parents came down from Oregon for Thanksgiving (which was when Cory proposed).

December: Wedding planning began. It was my first Christmas away from home. I got the flu after Christmas but with enough time to ruin any New Years Eve Plans. But I toughened up for the next day because we got tickets to the Rose Bowl

PTSD

Some of you know that I was in a car accident on Sept 10th. Someone hit me from behind on the freeway. Worse of all I saw it coming and I could hear him trying to brake knowing that he was still going to hit me (meaning I tensed up) so my best guess was that he was going 30mph. Now if you have known me for long you will know that I am no stranger to car accidents. It just happens around me and I don't know why, according to my memory I have been involved (whether passenger or driver) in at least 10 car accidents. You would think that by now I would be used to being in accidents, but I am not. In fact with each accident I become more and more paranoid and have more and more anxiety and anger with people driving poorly. PTSD for those who don't know is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (you can look it up on wikipedia if you don't know the basics about it). I think I have a mild to moderate case of PTSD. As the days go pass by my most recent accident has brought the following problems with it: anxiety, quick mood changes, lack of concentration, lack of patience and insomnia and this issues are becoming more and more apparent. So I am asking for prayer, that medical problems will resolve and that I will get enough money to help buy a new car to replace my poor battered car. Also if you have a background in psych (sisters I am counting on you) please let me know what I can do to get past these issues. In other words HELP!!!!!!!

Transitions

Cory had I have had what I would call a transition summer. Cory has moved back home, His grandma died, we have gone to Oregon, we have told both of our parents that we are going to get engaged (no I still don't know when it is going to happen), his is working 6 days a week which seriously effect our weekends together and time he needs to rest, his grandpa died last week, I have decided to go to Grad school, we have been discussing major future plans (including where we are going to live, what I am going to get a master's in, jobs etc), not to mention figuring out all of my medical problems, or possibly buying a new car.
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I have started a new medication which from what I can tell is helping a TON! I am so glad to not be in pain. Unfortunately since the lipoma was removed the incision site has been painful, I removed the tape today to find the area very bruised which is most likely the reason for my pain right now. If I do not hear anything by Friday then the doctor told me to assume that the mass they removed was a normal lipoma. There are still two more on my ribs that they probably should remove but it wouldn't be necessary.
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Right now our biggest discussion is about me going to grad school. The problem is that I feel like I am not going to like any job that I'm in. Part of that is that I feel that I am not great at any one thing and I don't feel like I have a real passion to do any one thing. This has made it extremely difficult to find a grad program. I would really like to see if I could do nursing, however I have been trying to get into the classes I need for 3 semesters and every time they are full, which is extremely frustrating. Cory and I have just started talking about me doing a school counseling program with a master's in education or to possibly get my MFT.
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It has seriously been a big transition summer. It has been hard and really good at times. I would like to say a few words about the up coming funeral and how I view Cory's grandparents. September 4th is Cory's grandpa's funeral which is where we will be laying him to rest next to the love of his life. This was a couple that had very hard times and had very good times and by the time I met them Vernie's body was failing her and Rocky's mind was failing him. In spite of this it was evident how much they loved each other. Rocky would sing to Vernie as much as he could remember to do so and they loved to make each other happy even in the little things. This has been a fantastic example of the way you can keep love alive. I have been several marriages fail and marriages go through very tough times but in the end it is the little things that can keep a marriage and a love alive. I feel truly blessed that the man I am in love with had this example. Cory does many of the things Rocky would do for Vernie, one of those things is singing to me and sometimes that even means he makes up songs for me (even when I am sick or just had surgery as my mom can attest to). Cory has been my support and I have been his support and it brings tears to my eyes that he had to lose his grandparents that watched him throughout his childhood. I truly believe that his grandpa died of a broken heart. I do think that we were blessed to visit with each grandparent the Sunday before their passing. Cory got to to spend quality time with two of the people he loves. It does make us both feel better to know that they are together again without limitations of the human mind and body. They will both be dearly missed.