Thanksgiving 2008

This was the first Thanksgiving that Cory and I got to spend the whole day together. It was amazing! We had a lot of fun hanging out with his family and laughing at the boys when they were doing stupid stuff. Here is a picture of the two of us on his aunt's couch.

There is Some Thing about Church

There is something about Church that is so personal and can shake someone to the core. I write this for many reasons. I have had issues with the church I currently go to and I also found out today that the head pastor at my church in Oregon was laid off.

Church is so personal to every person. There are many reasons for this, such as it is the one that you grew up in, and/or its where you first learned about Christ and/or its where you were baptized and/or where you have made your church family. However once you have been in a church for a while certain things begin to bug you, that is when problems begin in a church. After going through all of my ministry classes I feel extra critical about things once I go into a church. In my mind I evaluate the worship, the way the preacher preaches, how friendly the people are, who does the prayers and who is serving the communion. Now you may think well i understand a couple of those things but not all of them. But as I have been to many churches it is the most telling of the type of people allowed into those roles that says the most about a church. It says who is and isn't allowed to do certain things in the church. What is interesting is I thought we were at a period in time where sexism and racism should be diminishing at a rapid rate. But in my church women are not allowed to serve communion or lead a prayer in front of the congregation, this for obvious reason bug me, among other things.

What actually bothers me the most about church is how leadership forgets its role a lot of the time. A pastor is a head to lead a church in the direction of God. It is to follow His will to the best of his ability and be able to convey that to the Church (by the way we are all called to do this in some way or another it just may not be at the head of a church). A deacon's "job" is to be representatives of the will of the main population of the church. All though sometimes this position is not filled in the church I believe you should always have believers that are to be the representatives of the church to be able to ask for the things needed as the body as a whole.

Now sadly the next category of people I feel does not fulfill their role most of the time. The Elders description in the Bible is someone who first must be above reproach, married to one woman, temperate, sensible, respectable, hospitable, an apt teacher, not a drunk, not violent but gentle, not QUARRELSOME, not a lover of money, not a new Christian, most of all he must be well thought of by outsiders. Here is my main problem with most elders. They are quarrelsome. They think that they are right without explaining themselves or demonstrating that what they are doing is from the Lord. Now I know I can not judge heart and only God can do that but seriously people? Are you doing God's will without explaining why or how you got to the conclusion that God is directing you into that path? Are you truly looking after the well being of the church when most of the congregation will die within 10 years and your not doing anything to get new people in 9 months out of the year?

Half of the time I'm sitting in the church wondering why in the world this is the decision we have made. I know that a lot of people go to church for many reasons, but why do we let things get so bad before we try to fix them? I want to go to church and be excited to go have fellowship with other Christians instead of being disappointed knowing that majority of the church wont even connect with God on Sunday mornings. When will we demand more? When will we demand the change...I am thinking of starting my own church where we actually analyze the Bible and go back to what God's original intent was. When we could go back to having passion for Christ and truly be awestruck by what He did to save each one of us, and just connect with Him on a personal level. Anyone else want to start this with me?

I need help

I am spending Thanksgiving with Cory's family for the first time. On Thanksgiving it is his grandma's birthday so they want it to be extra special for her. I have asked what to bring and every time I was told nothing. The three sisters (Cory's mom is one of them) are doing everything. I don't want to be rude and show up empty handed. What do I bring? I was thinking another type of dessert other than pie, or should I just bring flowers? I know I should also get a gift for his grandma but I have no clue what she likes. For those of you who know my dad's side of the family his grandparents are like my dad's parents in some ways (whom I haven't seen since I was 16 for many reasons). So help what do I get them?!?!?

Cory gets Brownie Points

I didn't have a chance to post yesterday but Cory definitely got brownie points. Yesterday he showed up at my work with breakfast for me! I didn't ask him to or anything but he just thought I might want some breakfast...Boys learn from him.

I am sad with the results of yesterday

I know that people voted for Obama and that he won by the majority vote but I wonder how aware they are that the business that they work for will might have terrible repercussions based upon Obama's policy of how he wants to spread the wealth. I know that I work for small company there are only about 15 of us in total, but the company is over the limit of the 250,000 in a year. Most of the company is put in my both of my bosses names. We go back and forth with struggling for money and be okay for a month or two. The price of what we have to buy is high, plus paying employees, and now to pay extra guys for man power for this new law going into effect. But with the tax increases there is a real possibility that we will have to fire people in order to keep the business alive. These are good people who work off of Christian Principals and they might be screwed over in the end. It is a sad day for us.

On the good news Prop 8 passed which is such a relief, at least to me.

So We Work Together Now

As of yesterday Cory and I now work together. Reason being is that we are really short handed and because of a new federal act we have to drain every single pool and for every drain cover, chip out 3 inches to create a sump. Below are some pictures. The first being what we see when we remove the drain cover. The second is what Cory has to do in order for the pool to be in compliance.

Hopefully since I just tell him where to go and I don't really interact with him outside of that this will be really good. And Also YAY he has a job again!

By the way I know that this is boring to most people. I also realize that with all of this kind of talk I kinda sound like Jerry.

The Halloween Party

Although these aren't the greatest pictures here are some pictures of the Halloween party we went to in Temecula.

Cory was Jeff Gordon because apparently he looks like him, I was Marilyn Monroe

My and Shawna (Cory's Counsin's Wife and the hostess of the party)

Cory with Chris (Shawna's Husband). Chris was supposed to be the love guru but as the night went on he was either Moses, Jesus, or a Terrorist.

Chris and Jeff who are brothers. Both crazy and fun guys to hang out with

This is an added bonus of Cory and I at his Cousin Jeff's Wedding a couple of weeks ago

I dont have the chicken pox

So the common consensus is that I don't have the chicken pox. What was the cause of the sore throat and headache you might ask...the Santa Ana winds. I tend to get some awesome sore throats right before they hit, which can lead to sinus pressure and hence the headache. The wonderful rash must just be hives so I guess I'm following in Tabatha's footsteps. But yay I'm not contagious!

I have the Chicken Pox?

So there is a good possibility that I have the Chicken Pox. Its not for sure because the doctor doesn't want me to come in because it is so contagious. They are not the typical looking pox but we don't know what else it could be.

It started Saturday morning. Cory and I were in Temecula for a Halloween party thrown by his cousins. The next morning (Saturday) I thought I had just got a couple of bug bites, no big deal. By Sunday I began to get more and by Sunday night they were all over my arms and legs. So unless I have a very bad case of hives that comes with a sore throat, headache, and feeling achy, I have the chicken pox. If I have seen you I hope you already had them

The Strongest Among You May Not Wear A Crown

Ok so Cory's favorite band of all time is 3 Doors Down. Not too long ago we went to their concert (which was AMAZING, they actually were touring with a Christian band named Red who was also amazing). They played some of their new songs on their (what was then) up coming CD. Lately I have been listening to them a lot. There is one song that although they are not Christian and they wrote this about our National Guard this is a great song to remind Christian that we are in a battle and what we are called to do as soliders in God's Army. My favorite line in the whole song is the last line "The strongest among you may not wear a crown."

"Citizen / Soldier"

Beyond the boundaries of your city's lights,

Stand the heroes waiting for your cries.

So many times you did not bring this on yourself, When that moment finally comes,

I'll be there to help.

On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care, I'll be right here.

Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.

Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,

We'll always be ready because we will always be there.

When there are people crying in the streets,

When they're starving for a meal to eat,

When they simply need a place to make their beds,

Right here underneath my wing,You can rest your head.

On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care, I'll be right here!

Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.

Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,

We'll always be ready because we will always be there

Hope and pray that you'll never need me,

But rest assured I will not let you down.

I'll walk beside you but you may not see me,

The strongest among you may not wear a crown.

There is another song on the same CD called Let me be me. As someone who has struggled with fitting in with the crowd this other song has expressed those feelings. And as adults sometimes we forget how hard it was in middle school and high school to fit in while still being who you want to truly be. Also we will still tend to fall in to a category of expressing our own views so not be thought of as ignorant or judgemental or too (fill in the blank). We forget who we are and especially as Christians can tend to loose yourself in those things because that's what makes the rest of the world "happy". This is about finding yourself again and the things that you are good at.

"Let Me Be Myself"

I guess i just got lost

Bein' someone else

I tried to kill the pain

Nothin ever helped

I left myself behind

Somewhere along the way

Hoping to come back around

To find myself someday

Lately i'm so tired of waiting for you

To say that it's ok, but tell me

Please, would you one time

Just let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

Would you let me be myself

I'll never find my heart

Behind someone else

I'll never see the light of day

Living in this cell

It's time to make my way

Into the world i knew

Take back all of these times That i gave in to you

Lately i'm so tired of waiting for you

To say that it's ok, but tell me

Please, would you one time

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

And let me be myself

For a while, if you don't mind

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

That's all i've ever wanted from this world

I dream of a day

I dream of a day when politicians actually defend their policies without slinging mud at each other. I know I might be naive but that's what I hope for someday. I still have no idea of what exactly Obama wants to change and how he is going to do it.

I'm going back to school

I am pretty sure I'm going back to school and going to get a BS in Nursing.

I am officially a college graduate

yes I walked over a year ago but i had another class. Well I got word today that everything has been approved and I will have in hand my diploma in probably November!

Reconnecting with an old friend!

Although this is sad my old roommate and good friend Aubrey is going through a divorce. However, this has been a huge blessing to me. When she met her ex-husband we stopped hanging out. Mostly because although a nice guy, he had NO Social skills. Think of the most awkward person you know and then at least double it. They had a hard relationship towards the end and he couldn't hold down a job.

Although this is all bad and I feel for her, it has been awesome for our relationship. We hang out at least once every 2 weeks and it has made my life so much better. For a while now I feel like I have lost most of my girl friends due to distance (meaning I can't hang out with them) or them getting married or just not being interested in the same things I am. Aubrey was my very best friend through college so I am very excited to have her back in my life. Tonight we actually went dancing and although we had to wait in line for like an hour and a half we still managed to laugh through most of it and have fun for the little bit we got to actually dance. So I am happy to reconnect with an old friend who means so much to me!

****Side note: I went to a Tyrone Wells little concert thing last night and it AMAZING. Not because he played Seabreeze or his other songs (although good), it was mostly because he was very personable in his story telling. The other part that made it so good was he played this song that will be on his new CD and it moved me. It talks about how even though we are going to heaven that we should still want to live this life to the fullest with out loosing our faith, because our best friend and companion who never leaves us will be with us all of the time. I was almost brought to tears about how personal it was and the journey we go on as Christians. I cannot wait for the CD to come out on itunes for me to buy it.

These are some of my favorites

A Little Better

With my last blog let me explain what has been going on. I have been in pain for over a week. My stomach hurts (suprise suprise). On Labor Day I started being in some serious pain. By Tuesday I was in enough pain to go to Urgent Care. The doctor said what I had thought, I had another partial intestinal obstruction. I had to go on a liquid diet for 24-48 hours. Since then I have been going on this wonderful yo-yo of being naseous, pain, and well other not so fun stuff. (oh yeah and my stupid GI doctor took a couple of days to even call me back, then decided to lecture me about a test that I couldn't get done since work has been crazy)

So anyway combined with a little disagreement with Cory and frustrating people at work that is what resulted. Hopefully I will have answers soon and with that the lessening of pain and the ablility to keep my food down once again.

Is this just me?

Although I am aware that guys probably do not feel like this most of the time, but girls do you ever feel like every little thing you do is wrong? I don't know if it is hormones or what exactly it is but you revert back to the way you felt when you were an insecure teenager? I am having one of those days, when just anything most people say is just taken the wrong way, you may play it off as your not taking it personally but it completely puts a damper on your self esteem. And even though you can logically think it through to know that the person didn't mean it the way you took it, you still feel bad. As a personal boundary I put up is when that happens is becoming angry and hurt, mostly about how they don't take their part of the blame when it comes down to it. This may be within friendships, relationships, or my personal favorite family members. This is a hard feeling to describe. I honestly feel like I'm being completely psycho sometimes and I know it puts a hardship on the people I'm closest to but I don't know how to make it go away. I feel like crawling under a rock by myself and just crying for a little while and then I think I will be fine. I pray I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes.

P.S. One of my doctors thinks that a medicine that I have been taking for years is most likely had an impact on my weight gain and inability to loose, so she is having me get off it. I had stepped off it probably sooner than I should of because of years taking it. This medicine helps prevent migraines, is a muscle relaxant, and has an anti-depressant rolled into 1, so that probably isn't helping with this whole emotional thing. Don't worry I'll be fine my brain just needs to start making more serotonin, because I've only be off of it for less than a week so its still adjusting

The Biggest Loser

Now I dont know how many of you watch the show The Biggest Loser but this show has now become a part of our life. In May Cory's company started their own competition and Cory won ($500.00). Now my company is starting one and it is over a 3 month span and the winner gets over $600. I am very excited because hopefully this will give me the motivation to actually lose the weight that I need to lose. Oh and it is judged by the percentage of weight lost not actual pounds to make it more fair. I am really excited also because it is over about a month before I go on the cruise.

Something I'm concerned about

So with Cory loosing his job soon we started looking for another job for him. Within the last week the company I work for decided to fire someone and they want to hire 2 guys so its less strain on our current guys. Well the quality of the candiates were well pretty bad. So pretty much we are going to hire Cory for part time pool cleaning. While I am very excited he has a job and a place to work that will give him decent money this becomes concerning because I will be his boss. I will be handling his payroll, any compliants or questions, pretty much if he screws up i have to get mad at him for it. While I have complete confidence in him, I still wonder how he will do having me as his boss.

My doctor's visit

My doctor's visit was interesting. We had the awkward part because you know how it is. But after that we had an interesting conversation about my weight gain and my stomach problems. I have started taking vitamins that are the same chemicals that your body produces and it has decreased my stomach pain substantially. We also talked about the fact that I am trying to lose weight but cant seem to get past my plateau. So she is sending me to a dietitian. Which I am really looking forward to because I think it will help a lot. Plus I am getting an ultra sound done on my Thyroid tomorrow because we know that I have cysts on it but I haven't had them checked in about 4 to 5 years. So we need to see if they have grown or shrank or if they are collecting thyroid fluid which is why I would not be able to loose weight. I think that's about it. My doctor was really nice and she kept saying "well people your age don't normally deal with that, but your body has proven not to be normal, I mean gall stones by the age of 22 with previous history of irritation around that area is something we would see in a 50 year old." It reminds me of the move Jack with Robin Williams. I kind of wonder if that is what my body is doing in a way.

My boss needs to come back!

I don't know if I mentioned this but both of my bosses (they are a married couple) are on vacation this week and next week. So not only am I doing my job but I am trying to take over as much responsibility from them as possible so that they can actually relax while on vacation. Let me tell you Monday SUCKED! I had to do payroll which takes a good 2 1/2 hours of my day plus dealing with everything that comes in that normally goes to them. Now I know that I should be a pro at my job because I started here in march...yeah not really. I ONLY started in March and when you handle everything that does not seem like enough time to learn an entire business that you have never been involved in before. I am calling our repair guy about every hour to see what he thinks for the stuff I dont know. He has now started making fun of me for it. So more than Cory needs to come back (although I am so looking forward to when he does so I can make him give me a back massage) I want Traci and Fred to come back more! Plus they are good people and I really like them. It isn't a job I hate going to or anything and I think a main part of that is the fact that they are the best people to work for.

Let me tell you how awesome they actually are. I was invited to go to Lake Powell with Cory and Traci would have worked with me to let me go if they weren't going to be gone the same week. Plus I am going on a cruise to Mexico with my family for Christmas and she is going to work with me to do that. They understand family values and try to give me as much freedom as possible because they know I am responsible with it. Not only are they extremely nice with vacation time but I told them I could not change jobs with out insurance so they are paying my cobra payment until I can get on their insurance. Which should be september but Traci just told me that they can continue paying it until March when it would be the next opportunity to get on their insurance so that I can keep my doctor. They try to take a Christian perspective to how they handle their business which is awesome, they are also not the "holier than thou" Christians which is AWESOME! Anyway I hope they have a good vacation but I can't wait until they are back.

I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow

Tomorrow I have the fun doctor's visit tomorrow that they make you go to by threatening to take away the prescriptions that take away my migranes. Hopefully I can get a better medication! Anyway its that fun physical! Plus tomorrow I get to go over what the stupid GI doctor said so we can see how this goes. Wish me luck!

Update on the stomach issues (this might get gross)

So I went to the HORRIBLE GI doctor and my opinion of this doctor has only gotten worse. I had called several days in advance to get my file out of archives and they told me they had found it only to NOT give it to the doctor. So I was glad when I brought all of the paper work from the tests she ran 2 years ago. She looked at it said that my tests 2 years ago looked normal and asked me about my pain. I described it to her and compared the intensity to that of when I had gall stones only to have her stop me and to say "well it cant be because its on the left side too" (I had already told her I had my gall bladder taken out a year ago). Then she asks me what I have done to help with the pain. I told her that I was taking a stool softener which had been recommended her my regular doctor. She feels my stomach doesn't say a whole lot and then leaves the room. She comes back saying that she want to get a test done (which I got done a year ago) and then says she is going to give me a prescription. She gave me a prescription of the SAME medication I am already on. Not only that but for the same dosage! This made me so mad because she definitely wasn't listening to me and she was acting like I was made it up! I'm sorry but if someone is experiencing pain for years at a time don't you think that there might be some truth to it? Plus when I had surgery the surgeon found that there was a build up of tissue (which looks like tendons) that he said was caused from YEARS of irritation. Needless to say I am less than happy with my results and I am trying my own methods of trying to treat it. Such as taking digestive enzymes to help with how my body breaks down the food. So far a vast improvement. Funny how I can find something better for me than a STUPID specialist.

Don't get the wrong idea

I know my last post made it seem like my life might revolve around Cory but I would like to clear that up. Its not like im laying in my bed just wishing for Cory to come back. I do miss him but the last blog was more about how I feel disappointed with the fact that only 1 (count them ONE!) of my married friends would call me back. And she even has a kid. It just bums me out that people that I have invested time and energy in to trying to keep a relationship can't even call me back. I even called a friend on her birthday and called multiple times last week and not once did she pick up the phone or call me back. But thank you to my few friends that I have had a chance to hang out with. It was fun! By the way I did have fun line dancing and if you ever want to go just ask I will go!

I'm lonely

Cory left today for Lake Powell for 10 days. While I am happy that he is getting the vacation he needs, I am completely bummed because as my friends have gotten married they apparently don't think that it is important to keep friendships alive. I was talking to one of my single friends and she agrees with me, that there must be some secret that people are told when they get married to not keep any of their friends. It like I have lost all of my friends and it is very lonely when the person that you spend almost everyday with is gone, He is my best friend. I want to go line dancing and I can't get anyone to say that they will come with me. Its fun and I haven't had fun like that in a long time. So if you want to go let me know.

Will you move out already!

So for those of you who don't know. I normally have two roommates. My good roommate moved out so she could be closer to her job, and I miss her dearly. My other roommate makes me mad and frustrated majority of the time that she is home. Normally we ignore each other, literally. We don't talk, we don't interact. Nothing. I don't understand why she lives there. She doesn't pay her own rent...then again she doesn't ever pay her rent on time. My landlord who is a nice guy got sick of this habit of not really paying rent, and called her mom to give her 30-day notice. Her mom began to explain to him that the rent isn't due until the 16th of the month (or actually the 1st). Well pretty much what happened is she threatened to take him to court if he gave her a 30-day notice.

This is frustrating because she disappears for weeks at a time (I'm not complaining about that), she is completely inconsiderate to myself and our landlord. She will cook and then leave for a week. And she cant even hold down a job. Her parents are wasting their money and no one wants her to live there anymore but she wont move! I am getting to the point that I might move because this is rediculous. I like my house, I've lived there for a year now and I liked the idea of not having to move every 9 months to a year but I cant handle her anymore. Any suggestions.

doctor and bad news

So I heard back from my doctor that I am not allergic to anything. While this seems like great news it makes me a little sad because that means that I have to go back to the terrible GI doctor (gastro intestinal doctor). I also realized that I made my appointment on the same day that I have a conference to go to for my company. So that will be an interesting day.

Also at work Cory found out that a company that they buy material from lost a guy at work. I will spare you the details but it is just terrible that it happened and I feel for the guy's family. Also his boss's daughter's boyfriend's sister (try following that train of thought) was diagnoised with a brain tumor. Here is the e-mail that his boss sent out updating everyone (Kelsey is his daughter).

"We need your help. The last 10 hours has taught (re-taught) me to appreciate life and the fact I still have my children. I know if I were to ever lose one of them I would trade anything for one chance to have them back.

Kelsey’s boyfriend Jeff, whose family lives in Glendora, has twin sisters. One of them is named Lauren and I don’t know the name of the other. A few days ago Lauren was (seemed) perfectly healthy. Last weekend their family was in San Francisco. Lauren became sick and was diagnosed with strep throat and given medication. When she came home she was not getting better and she went back to the doctors. A brain tumor was discovered.

She was in a hospital in Los Angeles having surgery last night. Christy went to visit and came home with this report… the doctors were not able to help her and expect her to be brain dead this morning.

You’ve witnessed miracles before. Please pray for her.

Lauren and her sister are going to be a 7th grade students at Sonrise Christian School this fall."

Pray for her please. This is striking a little close to home for most of us. She is so young and I pray that a miracle does happen for this family and someone else's

I hate stupid people

Let me start with I like my job a lot. I don't love it mostly because of its not what I want to do the rest of my life but it suits me just fine for now. The worst part of my job is that people call in with the strangest requests or they are rude. A couple of day ago I got a work order faxed to us telling us to lower the spa temperature 1 degree. Can you believe it? its ONE degree people just deal! Or the call I got yesterday was complaining about one of our guys that clean the pool. Apparently he interfered with a mother disciplining her child. However all she could tell me was that he was driving a white truck (5 of our guys use white trucks), not what he looked like, not what he specifically did, she couldn't tell me what pool it was at, NOTHING. She said she was a visitor and was "deeply appalled" at this and next time she is going to call the property manager and tell them. After I apologized for one of our technician's behavior I could help but thinking "are you serious lady? you cant even tell me where you are at or what the guy looks like what is the property manager going to say, especially since you were a visitor." I agree that he shouldn't have interfered with anyone while doing his job, however if you are going to call and complain at least call within a week of the incident, know what the person looks like, and be able to tell me what exactly happened. Stupid people!

Can I eat yet!

Ok so most of you know that i typically dont eat red meat, but since I met Cory and his dad cooked me well anything, i became in love with red meat. I am probably writing this probably because I havent eaten today. But Bruce is in the process of smoking a brisket for tomorrow and all I can smell is deliciousness! I am super excited for tomorrow when I get to partake in eating this amazingness. I can only hope for you to try this sometime.

Also I am going to see the Dark Knight in about an hour and im really excited!

I guess I'll join the family blogging scene

Since all of my siblings have a blog i figured maybe i should make one too. We are so far away after all that we might want to keep in touch on our lives.

Lets see what's new is...I have been having stomach problems once again. So I got a food allergy blood test done and am waiting to hear back results so I can show the GI doctor (who I've been to before and deeply dislike) that she is wrong and she needs to run more tests or I can just stay away from those foods that apparently my digestive system doesn't like.

Since this will also be about Cory, I will update you on him as well. He found out less than a week ago that his job where he has been working for 3 years is going to lay him off at the end of summer. This has come as a big surprise because his Uncle owns the company, his mom is in charge of HR and his uncle's other nephew is the VP of operations. We have found out that the new president doesn't think that Cory's job is valuable, but he does have nearly everyone in the company fighting for him to keep his job. This is what Cory was planning on doing when he graduated until he got his master's. So his whole plan for this year and the coming years was destroyed last Saturday. He is very sad, and while I feel bad for him there is a part of me that hopes that through this God is giving us the opportunity to move to Oregon when he is done with school. Although his family would not be thrilled at the idea, I'm sure most of my family is jumping for joy that I have been thinking about this.

That's pretty much what has been going on with us in the last couple weeks.